We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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