i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize