And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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