I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
