Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize