i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
