So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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