I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
