i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
whose ass print is on the piano?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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