but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
