Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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