I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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