i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Drake has all the answers
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
