this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
