I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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