I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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