You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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