she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
