i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
