1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
