You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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