I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
