My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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