We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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