Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
