But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
