idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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