woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
