i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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