she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
