I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
