I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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