At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
PS: I just woke up from my shower
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
