just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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