bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
