yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
