Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
