I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I smell stomach acid.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
