why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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