I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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