This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
