I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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