It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
