Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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