i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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