Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
