Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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