tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
