If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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