Just fell off a train. Bad.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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