we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
