Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
