Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
