I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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