Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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