Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
