Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This is the high leading the old right now
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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