Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
